WRITER.

What’s one thing you wish you had started doing earlier in life?

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I wish I had made an effort to socialize more. I was homeschooled and then cyber-schooled, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t have interacted with others more. It did mean that since I was shy it was easier for me to choose not to get involved with others. Even though I went to the YMCA for sports, got involved in 4H, went to church events, and took martial arts classes, I kept my distance from others when possible and had few friends. I was lonely, but reserved and afraid of disappointing or offending others. I apologized all the time for every little thing and suspected people were judging me.

It was not until my sophomore year in college that I really attempted to put myself out there and make new friends. For my first semester, I spent a lot of time with my best friend, but after she made more friends and got busier, I challenged myself to meet new people. And it was successful! I asked peers to chat over meals and study together. I set up times to play games and go on walks or go get ice cream or sushi.

Nearly five years have passed since I graduated from college, and I still have many of the friends I made there. I learned that relationships I truly value require effort to be maintained. I keep in touch and set up plans and my friends often reciprocate. When I remember the lonely kid I used to be, I realize how far I have come.